dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
