it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
