It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
