Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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