I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
