all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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