It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize