Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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