I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
