all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
