I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
