I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
