its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
