It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
