My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
