OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
