Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
