Dual....:-)
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize