capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
