theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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