Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
