What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
