hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
