Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
