Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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