I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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