we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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