I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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