so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
