apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
