Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
