Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
