I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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