Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
