you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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