My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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