i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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