oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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