U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
