hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
