If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Randomize
