you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
