Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
