So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
