Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Pooping to opera.
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