Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
