i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
