I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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