i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My feet surprised me
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
