Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
