I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
