Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
