weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He passed out mid-signature
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
