Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
