hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
