Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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