it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just invented taco cereal.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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