I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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