So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize