I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
