Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize