I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
