it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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