I heard we made out
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
