Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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