Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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