Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
