Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
