So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
