I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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